lately

So lately there's one thing that makes me smile. I kno that even just a second of it will get me all giggled up and stressfree. But it can't be done. Because i made a promise not to do it again. Haha it sounds like im talking about drugs. Perhaps drug might be better cuz at least drugs don't effect others and hurt someone besides me. days like today feeling like a failure and a worthless purposeless being i just want to be ignorant and do whatever i have to to make myself feel better. . And if that even requires me to break my promises.

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